


safest sounds

by minyard03



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bruises, Child Abuse, M/M, Swearing, Very AU, Violence, based on the blue neighbourhood trilogy by troye sivan, from robert, just b carefulz thx, kinda descriptions of abuse, the music videos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7162319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minyard03/pseuds/minyard03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam Parrish was Ronan Lynch's best friend and that would never change. Nobody could come between them, the inseparable boys. They'd be best friends for life, and not even growing up could change that, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WILD

Ronan Lynch remembered being eight years old. 

The outdoors was his safe space. The way the grass stained his trousers and the mud that gave reason for his mother to clean his shoes every other night made him feel happy inside. There was that, and his best friend Adam Parrish. 

Ronan loved being a boy with Adam Parrish. Adam climbed trees with Ronan when nobody else would, and their endless adventures that continued day in day out gave the pair almost no reason to not be outside, especially during the summer. When Adam got his first big-kid bicycle, their adventures brought them near and far. Through fields and forests, past villages and neighbours waving at the inseparable boys. Their pirate fights and exploring days gave the people of Henrietta a reason to smile. Two kids exploring the world, living outside like every child their age should be. Ronan slept early most nights during the Summer, even without being asked, because the sooner he fell asleep meant the sooner he could wake up to spend another day as the dream team they always were. Niall and Aurora Lynch couldn't complain about Ronan's constant disappearance during the day, and they didn't question his whereabouts. It was always Adam he was with, continuing their adventures as they would, as if they'd never get tired of it.

 

Adam Parrish remembered being eight years old. 

The outdoors was his safe place. The outdoors was a place where he didn't have to ask his mom why his dad was sleeping on the couch again. Out in the open with his best friend was the only place Adam could ever ask to be. He hated going inside at the end of the day, to be greeted with a father reeking of something Adam was far too young to identify. Most nights, Adam locked himself away in his room and lay beneath his bed, as if hiding would drown out the sound of his dad not being nice to his mom. Ronan Lynch was his escape. 

There was much that eight year old Adam Parrish didn't understand. He didn't understand why daddy hurt him sometimes. He didn't understand why he got mad when Adam touched his special drink. He understood enough to know when his mom was sad. He understood enough to know his dad was why.

Adam Parrish slept early most nights to avoid being in the middle of a fight with his parents. The sooner he fell asleep, the quicker he could wake to get himself out of the old trailer, to spend the day with his best friend. Ronan always made the sore spots on Adam's arms and body feel better when they were explorers and pretending to be anyone they wanted to be. When Adam told Ronan that dad had held him too hard, Ronan was a doctor. He gave the medicine of leaves to fix the purple marks on his best friends body. Adam felt better when he did that. Then their adventures continued as they always did, cycling far away and screaming to their hearts content in desolate, empty forests. 

“Does your dad hurt you because you’re bad?” Adam remembered the first time Ronan asked about what happened. They were sat on Ronan’s porch, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that Aurora Lynch had made for them as they took a break from their new profession as zombie hunters. 

“Sometimes.” Adam didn’t like talking about how his dad got angry when he had drank too much, even then, when secrets didn’t exist between the two. “Not always. He doesn’t mean to.”

“Does he say sorry? I always say sorry when I accidentally hurt people.” Ronan pushed a curly strand of hair off his face. As an easily distracted eight year old, the subject didn’t stay on Adam’s dad for long. “We should go on our bikes later, to the forest.”

“Unfortunately not, kiddo.” Aurora stepped out into the porch to join them, he blonde hair glowing in the light of the sun. Ronan’s mom had always been a woman of sheer beauty to Adam, and not in a weird romantic kind of way, in a genuine aesthetically pleasing way that Adam could recognise. “We’re having a little get together later for your dad’s birthday, so no adventures until tomorrow. You should come and ask your mom and dad to come too, Adam. We’d love to have you there.”

Adam nodded. His mom didn’t like parties.

Adam didn’t like parties either after that. 

It was barely four o’clock when Robert Parrish started taking quick sips of beer sitting in Niall Lynch’s backyard. Of course, Adam and Ronan were off saving the world again in the only field Ronan was allowed to play in. The grass grew to their hips, the boys using their plastic swords to chop it down around them whilst Adam’s dad got more drunk with every passing moment. His mom has stayed at home, not willing to keep him from making a scene around family friends. His laughs became louder and louder, more audible with every hour that crept by. Niall’s uneasy laughs became more serious as he told Robert to get his act together. Ronan and Adam came back to them when they heard yelling.

“Maybe it’s time you left, Robert.” It was barely sundown when the last straw had been taken. “I don’t feel comfortable with your around my kids.”

“How,” Adam’s dad poked Ronan’s dad in the chest. “Dare you.” His voice was raised, his words slurred as he stood, a staggering mess. Niall flinched as Robert got so close as he could smell his breath. It reeked of alcohol, a concoction of everything Niall had had to offer. “I was gonna go anyway! Wouldn’t want to stay with that one staring at me like he’s got something to say. Fuck you! Take a damn picture, kid.” He made an exaggerated glance and angled his body at Declan, who broke his angry stare to roll his eyes. Declan was only eleven.

“Leave, now. You’re not welcome here. Maybe Adam should stay the night and you can collect him when you’re sober.” He rested a hand on Ronan’s head, his fingers covered by a mass of brown curls. “And don’t you dare talk to my kids like that. Adam, you can go inside if you want.”

“You’re not taking care of my son!” Robert spat, depth perception screwed as he could barely wrap an arm defensively around Adam’s shoulder. “Thank you very much.” He nearly tripped grabbing a half empty bottle from the seat he’d been sitting before stumbling down the gravel driveway on his way back home. Adam looked back at Ronan. He didn’t want to leave.

Robert wasn’t welcome back at the Lynch’s house again, after that. But Adam was a fourth son to Aurora and Niall. Ronan had told Adam they’d prefer if he came over, than if Ronan went to his place. Adam didn’t mind, too much. He was too young to understand why his dad was the way that he was. 

He didn’t mind spending extra time with Ronan. He was his best friend. Nothing would ever change that.


	2. FOOLS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their sixteenth year was the year of firsts.

Ronan Lynch remembered being sixteen years old. 

 

It was the best year of his life. His sixteenth year was one of walks in the forest with the sun setting. It was the year of firsts, the year of happiness and bliss that he couldn’t have expected. Being the year after his father died, it was the happy break that he truly deserved. 

 

His sixteenth year was the year when he confessed his feelings to Adam Parrish. The year he had his first kiss, his second, his third. The year Adam Parrish told him that things were mutual and kissed him with such deep affection that it was impossible to doubt that he was telling the truth. It was in Adam’s room that Adam told him. After what seemed like hours of kisses and honest whispers, they held each other in such a warm embrace that Adam felt finally at home, even sat in his own bedroom. Ronan lay his head on Adam’s shoulder, smiles etched onto their faces.

 

Ronan’s sixteenth year was the year where he climbed the tallest trees in the forest with Adam and watched the sunset almost every night. They were still best friends, they could never not be. Only now, Ronan had no hesitation in lacing his fingers into Adam’s, kissing him whenever they both felt like it. Ronan was in love.

 

Ronan's sixteenth year was the year he lost his virginity to his best friend. Neither had regrets about it, and Ronan felt no shame in telling his brothers and his mom about his boyfriend.  _ Adam Parrish?, _ they'd said,  _ best friend Adam? Robert's son Adam? _

 

That Adam, Ronan answered.  _ My Adam.  _

 

Adam remembered being sixteen years old.

 

One of the hardest years Adam could remember. On top of avoiding his Dad's bad days, Adam began having to hide much more, which was a risky thing to even try in the Parrish household. 

 

He was happy, granted. Adam was dating Ronan. The world felt as if it revolved around them when they sat together in the forest or in the fields of Ronan's house, their places. Only, when his fingers left Ronan's and he craved his touch again, Adam had to return home. 

 

During his sixteenth year, his dad had gotten much worse. There was only two things he did anymore, aside from eating and sleeping. He drank, and when he wasn't drinking, he was beating Adam for any excuse he could muster. Long sleeved shirts and jeans became usual attire for Adam then. The purple and brown galaxies painting his body couldn't be healed by Ronan's touch, and his protective nature meant Adam had to cover each and every injury so as to avoid any questions. There was the one time Adam missed a bruise on his foot, and his socks weren’t quite long enough to cover it. That one time, Ronan threatened to call the police on Adam’s father, because once he’d seen the burst blood vessel beneath the skin of his ankle, he ordered Adam to remove his clothes, piece by piece. He kissed his bruised knees and cut-up bicep, and demanded Adam go straight to the police, or social services, before Ronan went himself. Adam shut him up with his father’s favourite threat.

 

_ I’ll kill you if you tell anyone.  _ Robert would spit, digging his fingers into the fresh cuts on Adam’s skin from something he’d done.  _ I’ll kill you if you go to the cops. You’ll end up dead.  _

 

Adam wasn’t afraid of his father when he was in Ronan’s arms. When Ronan held him tight and counted the days until he could legally move out, until he was an adult, he felt safe. 

 

_ Seven hundred and thirty days.  _ Adam’s sixteenth birthday was filled with whispers and countdowns and the number seven hundred and thirty. Ronan had left bruises that didn’t have a story of anger behind them along Adam’s collarbones and stomach, and he’d kissed along his old and faded scars and told him that things weren’t going to be angry forever.

 

It was halfway through Adam Parrish’s sixteenth year when he heard the words ‘faggot’ directed at him for the first time. It was two weeks later that his father heard from a friend that his son was kissing Niall Lynch’s son at the local park earlier that day. It was a day later that Robert Parrish marred the good memories of Adam’s bedroom with a beating so bad it cut and bruised his own knuckles and rendered Adam unable to leave the house for days.

 

Their first kiss was now a fist holding Adam’s shirt tight, the words  _ I didn’t raise you to be a fuckin’ fag  _ forcing their way through gritted teeth as Adam struggled from his father’s tight grip.

 

Their countless  _ I love you _ ’s while Robert wasn’t home, replaced with  _ you don’t deserve anyone, you fuckin’ gay piece of trash.  _

 

Ronan’s _you deserve better_ whispered as they lay with both their heads on the pillow, destroyed with Adam’s own blood and tears from the savagery his father brought into his room.

 

Ronan Lynch was nearly seventeen when Adam first told him to leave.

 

Adam had been missing for nearly two weeks, and every time he quickly walked passed the Parrish trailer, he would see the curtains shut and only Adam’s mother caring for flowers in the front garden. The one day he made the mistake of asking about Adam, she told him he shouldn’t be around. She told him that Adam didn’t want to see him anymore.

 

He didn’t believe her until he came by Adam’s work, with Robert helping him fix a damaged car. Ronan nodded over at Adam. Adam pulled on his overalls and held his hands out for Robert to stay where he was. His pace was angry, his face scared, as he walked towards Ronan.

 

“You need to go.” His usual accent, put on to cover his own, was slurred by his natural one. He put his hands on Ronan’s chest and gave a strong push. 

 

“What’s going on? You can’t shut me out like this!” Words tumbled from both boys’ mouths,  _ calm down _ and  _ you’ve got to go, right now  _ jumbled into one. Ronan stopped when Adam took a step back, pointed his arm towards where Ronan had come in from, and looked him dead in the eyes.  _ Leave,  _ he’d said, his voice stern and stubborn, like his father’s.  _ Don’t come back.  _

 

Robert was proud of his son for standing up to Ronan, who was clearly trying to push his sexuality upon Adam. Adam  _ wasn’t gay. _ Robert knew that. Adam told Ronan to leave, and that was as much confirmation as he was going to get that his son made a mistake by kissing him. His son would get a wife, and would grow up to pretend his sixteenth year never happened.

 

Adam was seventeen when he got his first girlfriend. 

 

Her name was a name Ronan couldn’t care to remember, and she had short black hair pinned back by an unusual amount of pins. Robert made sure his friend’s saw Adam’s new girlfriend, and adored the fact that the late Niall Lynch’s middle son was so far out of the picture, most of them had forgotten the two were even a thing, a mistake of a thing. 

 

Adam Parrish did not love Blue Sargent like he loved Ronan Lynch. 

 

Adam Parrish did not want to love Blue Sargent like he did Ronan Lynch.

 

Though the threat of murder from his father, the  _ if he’s back here one more time, I’ll kill the both of you,  _ the trashing of Adam’s room to remove every single childhood memory the two had, convinced Adam that love was something you could force yourself to feel. 

 

He didn’t feel the same giddiness and sparks when Blue held his hand. He didn’t ache for more when she kissed his lips, when she ran her hands along his collarbones. Blue Sargent was his girlfriend though, and she loved him, even if he could only force himself to say it back, the words like fire and poison in the back of his throat rolling out between his teeth.

 

The first time Adam Parrish saw Ronan Lynch during his seventeenth year, his fingers were laced in Blue’s, who continued to tell a story Adam was not interested about, oblivious to the boy with the buzz cut walking their way. Ronan felt a knife twisting and twisting in his chest and stomach as Adam refused to meet his gaze, his grip on the girl’s hands tighter as they passed. He felt the knife twist deeper as he looked back, and Adam wasn’t doing the same.

 

The memories they had as best friend could not fix the unhappiness and unease they both felt in their seventeenth year.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soz for no updates been hella busy doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING im such a procrastinator also this is pretty much exactly like the trilogy so #spoiler alert if ur a troye sivan fan whooops


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